Do you still have your period?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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