sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
