Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
