why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize