for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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