i barfeds in our rink
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
