it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
