I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
