He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
