The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
