ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
