who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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