He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
