we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
