She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
