I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
