My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
