Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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