lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
