So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
