If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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