No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
