Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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