I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I look better un-naked...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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