I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
