I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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