physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
