All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
