I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
