i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
you made out with another girl for some wings
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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