Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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