Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Small penises have feelings too.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize