I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
