Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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