Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
