I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i dont even know how to be here
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
