He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
