didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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