got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
