Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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