If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize