Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
