I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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