no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
