We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
