um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
