so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
