What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I could make wine with my vomit
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
