Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
