the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
