sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
