I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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