Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
