THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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