My first STD was from a foam party
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize