Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
