Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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