# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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